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Newsflash! Brit Complains About the Weather

I don’t think you’re going to like this. I am, I’m afraid, going to spend a little time whinging about the weather.

You’re probably thinking what’s new Melissa? You’re British; this is what you guys do! But for once I am not complaining about incessant rain, cold winds, and murky skies. My complaint this time is, erm, it’s too hot.

I’m not the only one grumbling. Commuting in London this week has been like packing into a smelly sauna with 30 grumpy strangers. And unlike good saunas you’re not allowed to be naked.

What’s more, our wonderful rail services (weather is our number one topic of conversation but trains are a close number two) are heavily disrupted and slow because it’s apparently too hot for them. This is a true story, the driver announced this on my train yesterday! I think we have the most sensitive trains on the planet. Snow, water, leaves, and now even sunshine leaves them weeping in the corner asking not to have to go to work today.

So our commuter saunas crawl along the tracks, taking us home (eventually!) to roasting tin apartments that are entirely free of air conditioning. Nobody has air conditioning here because on the whole a machine that creates cold air is as welcome in UK homes as a burglar.

Yes we all spend our lives dreaming about hot weather but there are very important conditions attached. During hot weather we must not be working, must not have to wear more than a bikini and perhaps a light dress, and there must be a large body of water nearby to jump into. The Thames doesn’t count by the way. The sea, or a swimming pool, or both. Even a little plunge pool would suffice – I am not a demanding woman.

I, for one, do not intend to swelter in the city so it’s time to find a last minute luxurious bargain. As luck would have it Small Luxury Hotels of the World has a summer sale on for bookings in August, September and October. Yippee! 30% off on lots of hotels set up for sensible sunshine.

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The deals only last two weeks though so if you’ll excuse me I have some research to do and a plane to book. Next time we chat I intend to be typing while I paddle my feet in the sea. Yes it’s a dangerous game to have a laptop so close to water but the thought of dipping these swollen sweaty feet into a cool ocean is so exciting I’ve decided it’s a risk worth taking!

See you next week

Melissa. x

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