The power of a personal shopper
A friend of mine (me) has a slight problem and she (me) is not sure what to do about it.
My ‘friend’ (you get the idea) has a fiancé who she loves very, very much. He is wonderful in so many ways. I won’t list them because we’re not talking about the positives today we’re focusing on a negative.
So this friend’s other half (oh stuff it, it’s my fiancé Henry and I don’t mind if you’re reading this, Henry) has an attitude towards clothes that one could argue is admirable. He just doesn’t care. If he gets a free T-shirt he’ll wear it. However ridiculous the slogan, colour or even if it’s quite clearly too big for him, it’ll stay with him till it literally falls off. His shoes look like they’ve walked the Sahara twice and then been run over by a freight train. Trousers, shorts and jumpers have holes of varying sizes in them and his two suits are so old they will probably be back in fashion again soon.
Now I’m no fan of a vain man but he has gone far too far the other way!
His rebuttal is that clothes are designed to keep him warm and protect his modesty. Therefore there’s no point getting new ones because his current clothes do the job. The real reason is that he hates shopping. I’ve watched him walk into a shop, pick up one item, put it straight down again and then walk outside in search of a long lunch to recover.
This week he made the mistake of saying he doesn’t buy new clothes because he has no idea where to go or what to buy. Some shops make him feel too old because they are littered with skinny jeans, others make him feel too young because corduroy trousers abound.
“What if someone else chose the shop for you and then told you what to buy? A professional?” I asked.
He was tired so agreed that in those unique circumstances he would participate. He felt safe in the knowledge that that situation would never occur.
He thinks we’re going there for a couple of nights (and a couple of cocktails in one of London’s very best cocktail bars) when really a clothes-filled trunk will be waiting on the bed and he won’t even have to leave the room to enjoy the Personal Shopping Service.
One of the qualities I failed to mention earlier is that he is so polite to strangers he won’t be able to say no or avoid showing huge enthusiasm as his personal shopper makes suggestions. And what’s more he’ll be so keen not to offend anyone that he will end up buying sackfuls of wonderful clothes!
I don’t feel even a tiny bit bad. Maybe I should but I don’t. I’m already planning on a small bonfire upon which to place his moth eaten antiques!
Right, I must dash it’s time to go book a sneaky stay at Dukes London.
See you next week!