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I’ve been thinking that maybe I’d like to be a boy

I’ve been watching Henry in the morning lately, more intently than usual, and I’ve begun to find his routine rather annoying.

He wakes up, gets in the shower, showers, brushes his teeth, gets dressed and then has a coffee before leaving the flat.

This entire process takes a maximum of 15 minutes. 15 minutes. I don’t think I’m slow at getting ready but I’m lucky if I walk out the door an hour after waking up.

This is the same when we are on holiday too. By the time I’m ready he’s already had a swim in the pool or read his book on the balcony or something equally lovely.

I did some maths this morning (using a calculator obviously, my maths is appalling) and worked out that over the course of the year this means something rather disturbing.

I spend 273 hours more each year getting ready than he does. That’s 11 and a half days. Which is more days than people in America get for their holiday allowance each year I believe? Sorry America, we Brits get at least 20.

It turns out that Henry has almost a fortnight’s worth of time every year to kill that I spend doing exceedingly dull things like moisturising, drying my hair, putting make up on… the list is too dull to complete.

I don’t understand who decided, or when, that us girls have to do all these things but I think if I had a time machine I’d go back in time to whenever this was decided and change things round.

Let boys shave their legs and paint their nails while I have another half an hour in bed every day.

Sigh. Alas as much as it pains me the status quo is unlikely to change any time soon and the thought of having hairy legs doesn’t really appeal.

I have consoled myself by deciding that I look better than Henry when I walk out the door. Because quality takes a little time. If a girl were a hotel it would be elegantly decorated, well looked after with great attention to detail and a wonderfully manicured garden.

The Henry hotel on the other hand would be thrown together in a hurry, look quite nice from a distance but there would definitely be dust all over the place and chips in the paintwork.

Right it’s getting late. I’d better take my make up off… so I can put it on again tomorrow.

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