You’d think buying a chair was the easiest thing in the world. Four legs, a flat bit for your bum and a back bit to lean on. I’ll take four of those shopkeeper, thanks very much, see you again in a few years.
I need new chairs for my dining table you see. I’d earmarked this weekend to find them and thought just before I do I’ll have a little look online at some chairs I like the look of.
It was going to be so simple. So very simple. But then a restaurant in Lisbon ruined it.
The restaurant in question is a new one found at the Internacional Design Hotel called Bastardo.
Some people looking at the photos would have noticed something different. Perhaps the stunning views out the window. The Rossio and its statue of D.Pedro IV for example. Others might have not made it that far and been impressed by the enormous windows themselves.
I didn’t even make it to the windows. I got stuck on the chairs. Have you ever seen so many cool chairs?! It was exciting at first. The first chair I saw was the perfect one. Definitely the best I could ever hope to find for my flat. I remember thinking I must call the restaurant and find out where it’s from and then order four immediately.
The trouble was that the second chair was a bit more perfect. And the third even better still. I realise perfect is an absolute and I really shouldn’t be abusing its meaning like this. Something is either perfect or it isn’t. So I apologise for the last couple of sentences. And sorry about the next one too. But I don’t know how to talk about the fourth chair other than to say it was arguably the most perfect of all the perfect chairs.
Anyway. You get the idea. There’s a whole load of chairs and I love them all and I want them all. But I only need four. This is why I shouldn’t look at photos of cutting-edge design hotels or their restaurants until I become a millionaire. Then I can buy a table for 40 and get all the chairs.
Strangest of all was I was so obsessed with the chairs that it took me a little while to register the name of the restaurant. Bastardo. Even the non-Portuguese speakers among you have probably worked out that Bastardo is Portuguese for, erm, bastard. I feel naughty just writing it. But the folk behind the restaurant aren’t the types to worry about ruffling a few feathers.
To quote them “Bastardo is the illegitimate son of Portuguese cuisine. Born to break rules and the fruit of true love, forbidden love.”
So if you end up going don’t be surprised if you’re surprised. From the looks of things the dishes are going to be daring, undefinable and no doubt delicious. Styles, concepts and cultures all thrown together with creative abandon.
I haven’t been so I haven’t tasted the food. But if the chef is as good at picking ingredients and throwing them together as the person who found the chairs it might just end up being the best meal ever.